A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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