ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
