If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
