we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
