You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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