Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
