So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
