he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
