Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
