My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
