a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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