I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
