Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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