just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
