Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
there is glitter all over my balls
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