The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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