I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
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Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
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The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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