guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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