Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize