I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
