see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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