i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
did i walk over a car last night?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize