No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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