You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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