i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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