Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize