I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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