I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
