One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
