Moan for me like Helen Keller
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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