Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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