where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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