$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
