he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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