He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
