There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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