they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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