Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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