Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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