make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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