Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
