You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
