She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
