i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
