are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
