I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
