I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
She's JV to your varsity
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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