Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
