Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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