Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We call that spaghetti Os

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  (207): I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it (617): We call that spaghetti Os http://tfl.nu/dgrn
  Replies (33) Good night (10085) Bad night (854)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.

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  (515): i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty. http://tfl.nu/51bx
  Replies (13) Good night (446) Bad night (3176) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.

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  (231): i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister. http://tfl.nu/u6ro
  Replies (20) Good night (919) Bad night (4647) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.

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  (301): just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom. http://tfl.nu/qack
  Replies (30) Good night (5222) Bad night (981)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...

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  (248): Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed... http://tfl.nu/xlpz
  Replies (120) Good night (1396) Bad night (5092) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"

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  (480): I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues" http://tfl.nu/4mvg
  Replies (26) Good night (4097) Bad night (1893) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability

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  (917): we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability http://tfl.nu/xeg6
  Replies (1) Good night (2126) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.

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  (727): there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning. http://tfl.nu/6rsw
  Replies (17) Good night (3761) Bad night (1716) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.

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  (914): He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now. http://tfl.nu/ph35
  Replies (15) Good night (1085) Bad night (3108) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?

  (817): View more from Texas

  Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.

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  (315): Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole? (817): Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that. http://tfl.nu/wqpn
  Replies (1) Good night (1772) Bad night (677)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...

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  (630): They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock... http://tfl.nu/p7g4
  Replies (8) Good night (1537) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?

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  (260): It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed? http://tfl.nu/04go
  Replies (3) Good night (969) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.

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  (951): diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me. http://tfl.nu/ieik
  Replies (12) Good night (2880) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.

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  (610): So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house. http://tfl.nu/bt1m
  Replies (15) Good night (1410) Bad night (381) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.

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  (516): Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips. http://tfl.nu/dsdr
  Replies (4) Good night (538) Bad night (232) Order T-Shirt

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