Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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