I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just want nice things and good sex
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
