At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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