Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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