He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
