The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
