The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
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on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
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drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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