sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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