he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
