Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
What a dumb baby whore.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
