I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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