I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
