so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
