i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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