I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
